Of the many thousands of letters of the founders which have survived, small caches of correspondence with female friends survive. Historians can, however, distinguish a friendship from a romance in the past through careful attention to the language men and women used. The word “platonic” connoted an unrealized ideal and usually referred to romantic love not-yet consummated.
While today we use the term “platonic” to describe nonsexual friendships between men and women, in the late-18th and early-19th centuries, there was no special term for or even much recognition of, these relationships. These friendships show us a softer side of the founding fathers.
But the founding fathers? Our nation’s first presidents had close, loving friendships with women-women who weren’t their wives or close relatives. When the term “platonic friendship” comes to mind, we’re likely to think of the movie When Harry Met Sally or the latest pop psychology article examining whether these relationships are possible.
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